Shiv Goswami

The most terrifying thing I could think of myself, everyone will, so I will. But this is the thing I want to delay the most. Why? Because of the unknown, it's unresolved, I said the universe exists because I do, so it also ends with me. There's a tension, I want to rest but I don't want to die but experience that child to adult again.

If I could never then it's worth betting maximum in this life but if it's possible then what's the point? There is a paradox in it, still figuring out parts of it. I think to escape the heat death of the universe. I am at point 0, the spawn location, what starts from here is what I do next. My plan? I don't even know its ending, and honestly it's deliberate, but I know the starting and the direction.

I think of many things, it sounds very paradoxical, but is it paradoxical at all or are we too wired to binary? I want to be everything and experience everything but also breeze through loyally, even that's an experience. Can there ever be enough? I guess we'll never know? Or maybe we could?

I think the only pursuit that's left after ripping everything apart is the act of becoming itself. We cling to the permanence because it's homely. But we haven't even lived enough to realize that we might at some point outgrow it? I said I have a plan without an ending, because I don't want it to end. Because with its end I end, and so as well the universe.

So what now? What's the point?

Was there ever a point? Or line or anything at all? Even if we become gods?

Maybe the point was living until we die? Maybe the point is that we are mortal, because what is immortal is nothing, then if nothing is immortal then the god we imagine is not immortal at all, and if we are under a god then even gods are under the constraint of nothingness itself and will drift to its end eventually, and hence it's not god. I think of it this way.

We have a default fixed timeline to live, I think we will expand it soon. That's what we have been trying to do since our existence, but when we weren't able to then we created god to escape the thought of a permanent drift to nothingness. And we will keep that until we become gods ourselves, but still we will be in an illusion of control. We can only change the phase until nothing is left and we don't know the limit or the end of the quantity.

And at the end there's only one fear left with a question, what's the meaning, the purpose, what's it all about?

I think a moment together, an acknowledgement that yes I exist and so do others and we share one temporal universe. The medium?

Love.

Funny how it circled back to the thing we are most exposed to. Or are we? Are we aware of it? Do we see it? Are we capable of it? Sometimes the most common pattern is the hardest to see because it's woven into many threads.

Let's help each other paint and keep becoming until who knows what the end is. And I think that's the purpose.

That's the beauty.

We don't know. But we will keep knowing. Keep walking.